Dignity, Thy Name is Rielle

My family, friends and longtime fans know just how important dignity is to me. Sure, I wandered around in a sundress for a few years, but I was young, drunk and in love. And love seems to dignify almost everything, including, y'know, crossdressing.

However, I was never the fucktoy of the guy who had his ass kicked by John Kerry. That's almost impossibly undignified. Worse still is the fact that the money that found its way to her by way of her beau's campaign donors and finance chairman is almost certain to get him indicted. the candidate would have been better off slamming his penis into a beehive than Rielle Hunter.

On the other hand, John Edwards wasn't screwing his campaign staff, causing his lover to lose her job, so I guess he isn't all bad. A certain Canadian political figure could have taken a page from the Edwards playbook and at least paid his unemployed cock-pocket off.

Dignity is a concept almost completely foreign to everyone involved with L'affaire Edwards, including even GQ magazine, which interviewed Ms. Hunter this month. I've read summaries of the interview and learned absolutely nothing from them, although I have subsequently learned that Edwards can't make a fuck tape for shit.

Seriously, doesn't the Senator know that if you're going to film yourself going down to the Y, you always use a tripod instead of having her hold the camera? I knew that when I was five years old. I've spent the last six years trying to think of one good reason that President Bush was re-elected and I guess that this will have to suffice.

Anyhow, Rielle has decided that the tawdriest part of her most recent spectacle is the photospread that was included in the article. She ran to Barbara Walters and described herself as "repulsed," which is all the proof you need that the former Lisa Jo Druck is retarded.

Of course, everyone is now laughing at Rielle Hunter and her amazing display of dumb. And that's as it should be.

I wonder if the Canadian political figure's girlfriend is going to pose with stuffed toys, sans pants.

Wouldn't everyone's dignity demand it?